shydeiac:

how the pussy should be eaten:

  • like it’ll pay off all their student loans.
  • like the key to happiness is buried in there.
  • like they’ll be granted a tax free life.
  • like they heard the fountain of youth was in there. 
  • like it’ll grant you three wishes for whatever you heart desires.  
  • like its the last supper and you trying to be the 13th disciple.

(via gavin-ohfree)

kookie667:

Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

(via sakura-rose12)

caroldamver:

clint barton is the kind of guy who can hit a fly from 100m away with a bow and arrow but if you yell think fast and throw something at him he will not catch it and it will hit him in the face

(via brotherhood-of-feels)

tiredpunk:

"TURN DOWN" my copilot screams, trying to grab the airplane’s controls from me

"TURN DOWN FOR WHAT" i scream back as i icarus this bitch

(Source: saturdaynightbigcocksalaryman, via brotherhood-of-feels)