queerplatonic-cuties:

if you don’t respect platonic love as equal to romantic love a million turtles will break into your house tonight and steal all your electronics

(via followhale)

severalbadpunslater:

whoreoscopes:

doomf:

That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?

25796323689432 feet you say?

image

this is literally my favorite post on tumblr

(Source: andrewbelami, via zenjeeves)

lionvomit:

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

oh christ

(via zenjeeves)

paradoxes-for-breakfast:

reasons why halloween is the best holiday:

  1. you are not obliged to visit your relatives
  2. you are not obliged to get gifts for anyone
  3. people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than halloween
  4. its the only day when its socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin

(Source: caesarzeppeliofficial, via blazedclone)